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walk by the river. random flashlight. tangled chain. beautiful diamonds. mine.
whew. wow.
12 months. I guess. some people count from their first date, others first kiss... eh, count away... numbers only scare me... (along with committment, spiders and failure)
and I leak at the most random times... well wait, I guess its not too weird to cry when your girlfriend looks at you with all seriousness and says..."I think you are supposed to be straight..." and I have nothing to protect me from you, naked in all senses... so easily does your gaze affect me, your words twist my thoughts.
you can know nothing for sure... and I'm as solid as silly putty, and you look right through me, eyes blur with hurt...
ouch. FEAR.
trust is a crazy adventure.
today, I cleaned my fathers office/meeting room and got so dirty that I had a dirt mustache and black feet...then I went swimming,as opposed to showering, b/c thats how i roll... but there was this bat that kept diving for dinner, and it was FREAKING ME OUT, so I came in and watched the Life Aquatic... and as much as I appreciated the oddness I didn't like it all that much. aspects of it were fantastic but really, kinda a let down.
carol told my dad that he should watch baseball tonight b/c its good for him, and he responded... "why would I want to watch a bunch of rich bastards stand around and spit? its so damn boring they have to play an organ to keep you awake..." muahahaha... even as a baseball fan i found that amusing...
planning aint my game.
and when you say before or after grad school, the doubt kicks in and the tear ducts act up, this could all be over...I don't know, I just don't believe that it will happen. doubty mcfearsalot. or as carolyn called me the other day, "slutty mcShowsHerself" yep, I am a huge whore.
"I think that alot of straight girls would think what you did was repulsive."
without you the tides change, the boys run, the oceans crash, the crowds roar... the moon glows the river flows... but I die, without you.
and here I am with my arms open, this is all I have to give, it can't be what you wanted, what you pictured it would be... and you could find something better, someone with the whole package... and maybe you will... maybe you should.
text messages from ex's as you sleep.
feelings hard to explain. talk. remember, re-live? oh, the excitement. (no really...)
two million thoughts to work through, and they come like cannonballs tied to my ankles...
the candle flickers from still gusts of wind, a pool of wax threatening to drown the light, but weakly it continues to glow.
whew. wow.
12 months. I guess. some people count from their first date, others first kiss... eh, count away... numbers only scare me... (along with committment, spiders and failure)
and I leak at the most random times... well wait, I guess its not too weird to cry when your girlfriend looks at you with all seriousness and says..."I think you are supposed to be straight..." and I have nothing to protect me from you, naked in all senses... so easily does your gaze affect me, your words twist my thoughts.
you can know nothing for sure... and I'm as solid as silly putty, and you look right through me, eyes blur with hurt...
ouch. FEAR.
trust is a crazy adventure.
today, I cleaned my fathers office/meeting room and got so dirty that I had a dirt mustache and black feet...then I went swimming,as opposed to showering, b/c thats how i roll... but there was this bat that kept diving for dinner, and it was FREAKING ME OUT, so I came in and watched the Life Aquatic... and as much as I appreciated the oddness I didn't like it all that much. aspects of it were fantastic but really, kinda a let down.
carol told my dad that he should watch baseball tonight b/c its good for him, and he responded... "why would I want to watch a bunch of rich bastards stand around and spit? its so damn boring they have to play an organ to keep you awake..." muahahaha... even as a baseball fan i found that amusing...
planning aint my game.
and when you say before or after grad school, the doubt kicks in and the tear ducts act up, this could all be over...I don't know, I just don't believe that it will happen. doubty mcfearsalot. or as carolyn called me the other day, "slutty mcShowsHerself" yep, I am a huge whore.
"I think that alot of straight girls would think what you did was repulsive."
without you the tides change, the boys run, the oceans crash, the crowds roar... the moon glows the river flows... but I die, without you.
and here I am with my arms open, this is all I have to give, it can't be what you wanted, what you pictured it would be... and you could find something better, someone with the whole package... and maybe you will... maybe you should.
text messages from ex's as you sleep.
feelings hard to explain. talk. remember, re-live? oh, the excitement. (no really...)
two million thoughts to work through, and they come like cannonballs tied to my ankles...
the candle flickers from still gusts of wind, a pool of wax threatening to drown the light, but weakly it continues to glow.
wickety whack